I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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