Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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