I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
