So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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