I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
