the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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