We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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