It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize