Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He shit in the fireplace
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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