i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
