I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize