lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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