and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
