I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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