What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
