His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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