I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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