were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
