he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
