The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
