return my video game
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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