no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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