is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
