All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
