Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm having to shit out rocks
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