That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
