Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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