Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
