Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
