just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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