never play flip cup with pint glasses
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
