is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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