ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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