Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
