i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
