Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
