how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I wish you could order shots online.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize