I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
