She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
