Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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