Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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