they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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