hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
as a side note pls kill me
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize