First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
