i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
