I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
and she was petting her beer can
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
