I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I seem to have left my pride at pride
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
