I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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