had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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