I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
