The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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