This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
