Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
