there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize