i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Is it penis luge time yet?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
