Where are you?
In a non slutty way
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
