We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
