It's Friday. Sex?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
