i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize