someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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