Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
